The Death From Drifter WiP

The snow keeps falling from the steel-grey clouds above.  Light flakes, falling from the sky like powdered sugar being dusted lightly on a cake made of earth and the snow from the night before, were being scattered by a biting wind.  Among the mounds of snow, there are three of us standing there, silent.  Two sets of eyes bore into holes into me.  The wind and snow makes it hard to see them but I can feel them.  
I scream into the wind, trying to make sense of what is happening within this moment and within me.  The wind carries my words onto deaf ears.  I become frustrated with myself; explaining things in a snow storm was not the best idea but the explanation should have been easy.  I scream as loud as I can and neither of you appear to hear my words.  In exhaustion, I turn and saunter off, mostly to burn the hatred I feel for myself.  I loved both of you, and in one rash decision, have lost you both.
When I am several paces from where I assume both of you are still standing, I turn to see if either of you have followed me in my tirade.  Another reason for me storming off was to see who would follow me and who wouldn't.  Subconsciously, I knew both of you would fail this test.  I wanted to be wrong, hoped to my gods above that I was wrong, but I wasn't.  No matter how many times I had wanted my true feelings and emotions to be wrong, they hadn't betrayed me yet.
My frustration reaches a new level as I burst into a run.  Tears stream my down my cheeks, helping the snow stick to my already chilled skin.  I don't know how far I have gotten but the cold wind makes running hard so I slow to a fast-paced walk.  
A thousand thoughts race through my mind, each bouncing off the other like rubber balls.  The momentum of these thoughts is fueled by the anger and pain I feel, along with confusion and lost direction.  My anger was at my lack of self-control that caused this downward spiral.  The pain stemmed from the knowledge of knowing no one was there and I was alone once again.  All of this was my own fault but knowing that, I felt no less a victim of the worst tragedy ever written.  
All my friends moved away from me to have families and lives of their own making.  I yearn for that, even though I know I am not ready for it.  To my emotional mind, the two chances I should have had were behind me.  Two people I thought really cared couldn't see past the façade of my tantrum and come after me.
My steps continue.  I shove my hands into my pockets and hunch over, hoping to keep the coldness at bay for just a little longer.  The snow still falls; the flakes growing in size.  The wind takes on a piercing edge, biting into my skin worse than before.  I lost my physical sense of direction while I was running from my past.  I look around, searching for something that would tell me where I am.  These woods are foreign to me.  
Snow blocks everything out with a thick wall of colorless crystals.  It is starting to pile up faster than before, including on top of me.  This makes walking harder but I know I must keep going, even if dying in the snow does scare me.  Each footfall brings a fresh realization that I have no clue of where I am going.  My foot sinks deep into the snow, alerting me to a deep snow drift.  I continue on even though my inner compass, where my sense of direction lies, points nowhere and everywhere all at once.  
Cold and snow is leaking through my winter jacket, my shoes, my layered clothes, making everything wet.  I already feel weighed down with my emotional turmoil; the physical weight of my clothes makes me see how serious the nearly surreal situation truly is.  
I look back over my shoulder as I take my next step, hoping maybe one of you, or even a new you is there waving to me to come back.  I see nothing but snow.  My foot lands on something slippery and I skid onto a large patch of ice.  I do not recall passing a pond or a lake on the way in from modern civilization.  
The combined weight of the snow and me causes the ice to crack.  I stand up, forgetting all of the winter training from my younger years growing up in a rural community where winter is less of a season and more of a lifestyle.  The ice cracks more as I take a step to get to what I hope is the shore.  At this point, though, I no longer care.  I have nothing more to live for.
CRACK!  I plunge into the icy depths of what may be my graveyard.
The floating sensation of bobbing in icy waters has a calming effect on my heart, driving my emotions to the outer most reaches of my mind.  This was not how I had ever seen myself dying, cold, alone, and slightly terrified.  That opened a new wound.  There was no one there and there never would be.  It was a sad realization to be faced with for someone so young and who has so much life within them, but there was no one coming.  
I let the iciness still my heart to barely beating as my mind implodes.  There is so much I wanted to do:  travel, have a family, buy a house, move somewhere warm, etc.  The list was long and there was no way of completing it now.  I was okay with that.  I shut my eyes, wished one last wish and took a breath, letting the icy water enter my lungs.